The standard of subtitling in Kong Kong action films seems to have arisen dramatically and recent DVD releases features natural, correct English. However this genre of films was once notorious for risible subtitles. I have done a quick search of the internet and come up with the gems listed below:
http://www.cantonese.sheik.co.uk/humour/kungfusubtitles.htm
I have been scared like a mouse too much lately.
How dare you seduce man at such critical moment! (Evil Cult)
http://writersdreamtools.com/view/humor/view.asp?HumorID=31&offset=
I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.
Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.
Gun wounds again?
Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.
A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.
Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!
Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.
Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?
Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.
You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.
I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!
You daring lousy guy.
Beat him out of recognizable shape!
I have been scared shitless too much lately.
I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!
Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.
How can you use my intestines as a gift?
The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?
This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to eat
Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough examination.
Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.
http://www.innocentenglish.com/funny-english-mistakes-bloopers/funny-movie-captions.html
I threat you! I challenge you meet me on the roof tonight for a duet!
I will kill you until you are dead from it!
You are too useless. And now I must beat you.
A normal person wouldn’t steal pituitaries.
Your spear is useless… You better use it for mixing excretory.
Now I feel flatulent, and you did it.
My innards have all been disturbed by him.
That may disarray my intestines.
I please your uterus. You kiss my toes. It’s fair.
This is the Martial Arts Competition, not a place for fighting! (from Kung Fu)
ART SUNDAY - ROUALT
1 hour ago
8 comments:
LOL too funny. I know I've sometimes thought huh! when subtitles come up with a translation completely not relevant to the action.
Now I feel flatulent and you did it......wonderful.....
Hope all is well with you dangerous one.
I found some more. I was rewatching a terrific film called ‘The Magic Blade’ over the weekend and these gems popped up:
“Devil Grandma’s really ghastly”
“Have some cakes first then stewed hand” (said BY the aforementioned Devil Grandma. And Yes! It is a real human hand she’s talking about.)
“Wait! Do you want to suck his blood or get his peacock dart” (said TO devil Grandma this time. So you can see the first subtitle is not as fanciful as it first appears)
“I’ve practised 20 years to move my sinus 1 inch so your paralysation didn’t work”
“That woman’s ferocious with her new shoes”
“After hard work I challenged many toddlers and became popular”
The last one is my favourite because it pops up and ruins (curse it) what is actually a beautifully and subtly acted scene.
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